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CALEB'S PERSONAL SITE :. |
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| :: Humor: You Know You're Addicted To Caffeine When... |
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You Know You're Addicted To Caffeine When...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
You say to your friend "How are you Dew'n?"
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You run twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You short out motion detectors.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You own the only existing legendary 5-liter bottle of Code Red.
You soak your dentures in coffee (or soda) overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of dew with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
All your kids are named "Joe."
You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You buy Half & Half by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer...
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You can't even remember your second cup.
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All Content © 2005 Caleb Howard
Site design idea taken from
OSWD.org
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